Moms Day Out – Stream Of Consciousness

The following is a total stream of consciousness post, that was edited after the fact to correct spelling and fix some of my heinous grammar.

Recently my husband and I have decided that I need to get out of the house more. You know, I keep having recurring dreams that I leave Eleanor unattended for various amounts of time and then freak out and think, “How did I think it was OK to leave her alone”. Will said, “If that’s not a sign that you feel trapped I don’t know what is! You need to get out more”. So that brings me to my good friends 30th Birthday bash.  

Happy birthday Michele! Mama’s so excited for a day out on the town and also a little bit anxious. Will Elle know I’m gone for 8 hours? Will she care? I know it’s valuable time with Dad but I still can’t shake the feeling of abandoning her. NO! You have to get out. You NEED to socialize. It’s part of who you are. I’ve spent the entire week preparing for this mentally and physically. Five days of pumping so Dad can feed the baby. I spent the whole morning nap time getting ready for this day out. Thanks Elle for sleeping for almost 2 hours!!! Spent a good 20 minutes in the shower pulling my hair out (PP Hair loss, amirightttt?) Off to a good start. Styling my hair is always fun when it looks like I shaved off the hair around my face. Will it ever grow back? I really wish the new grey hairs I’ve sprouted would fall out instead of my seemingly healthier hair. Is the only solution to get pregnant again? That’s a whole other post….  

Putting on makeup, I don’t even know if I remember how to do this? Normally I just put on mascara and some lipstick so it might look like I tried a little or had some time to put myself together. Thought about wearing fake eyelashes – no, this is a BREWERY not some swanky lounge). Should I wear the diaper bag lipstick or something different? Should I wear jeans that are just a bit too small? Is my purse going to be too heavy? I lost sleep on Thursday night thinking about wht outfit I was going to wear. Settled on my faux leather spanx leggings, chambray shirt and cowboy boots because why not. Luckily I did not have to try on a million outfits and I stayed with my original outfit. I figured, it would be a disservice to the clothes in my closet if I lost an entire nights sleep over this outfit and didn’t wear it. (NOTE: I later hated this outfit because it made me feel like I “looked too much like a mom” NEWSFLASH AB, you ARE a mom!)  Okay, maybe it wasn’t ONLY the outfit I lost sleep over. Remember when I  said I had been preparing all week? Well I woke up thinking about logistics. When will she eat, how much milk will she need, what if I don’t pump or 8 hours? Will my milk dry up? When will she nap? Maybe, but I NEED THIS DAY. I NEED TO FEEL LIKE MY OLD SELF.

Okay, time to go! There’s no looking back now, it’s time to “close my eyes, and leaaaaaaap” (nod to Wicked, Defying Gravity, which is the song that basically gets me through EVERYTHING)

Baby girl napped so long I got to get ready for this day out AND write this post (Insert praise hands!)

Also, here’s some cute pictures of Elle swinging because why not?

From Now Until Forever,